(Bob hears someone whistling. A shirtless Brady approaches, looking happy and rested. But the myriad of cuts and bruises on his face, arms and legs are too numerous to count.)

Yo Bob-O. What’s up Dude? Why am I in such a great mood you ask? Because my fortunes on Gilligan’s Island have rapidly improved over the last 24 hours!

As you know, Mommie Dearest saw my Dad and my Mom making out on the other side of the island. GO MOM! I knew she’d find a way to make him forget his slut. I love my Dad but he isn’t the sharpest knife in the draw. He tends to think with his, uh, ‘little’ head if you know what I mean. You don’t think I can say that? Well I can say bitch, slut, bimbo, tramp and whore so the word 'little' should be OK.

Oh and why is everyone freaking out abou my mom having blonde hair. I have blonde hair too. It runs in the family. (Bob sees that Brady inherited his father’s intelligence.)

The day got even better when Doc freaked out about my parent’s reunion and weasly Wesley put the moves on her. How sweet was that! Gave me the perfect opportunity to nail St. Slut to the wall! And of course Wesley didn’t beat the crap out of me again because he knows we both want the same thing – an end to the Black marriage.

Ya know, everything is going my way. Isn’t it amazing? It’s as if someone is writing this stuff just for ME! Oh, btw, I won’t be wearing shirts anymore. It’s in my contract, and apparently my contract extends to this island.

(Brady picks up his canes and starts to leave. As he leans on the left one, it cracks in half, causing Brady to tumble down the path.)

*$^&, OW! This is why I don’t want to go shirtless! Damn it!

(Brady yells back up to Bob)

Hey, erase that last part Bob, no need for that comment to get to the other side of the island, OK?


confessed by Brady Black at 11:06 AM

John, honey, I'll be your 'Doc' anytime, so long as you're my ever willing patient. I'll make you forget all about Marlena and Isabella, I'll show you a good time, I know you, I know what you like, I know I came make you a very happy man. (Kristen eyes Tom, who's found his way back to the rocks again) Tommy sweetie......I know of the incredible ability u hv with that posion pen of your's. your ability to have children rapidly age before our very eyes, into teens, with neither them nor their parents having any recollections of their childhoods or no memories as to how they missed out on them and, look at me, you yourself brought me back to the land of the living along with Isabella, who, incidentally, died from an incurable disease. Sheer brillance, i tell ya. anyway, with your love of J&Ms non history, I was wondering, what can you do about my current situation with John? If something doesn't happen while on this island or when we get back to Salem, I'll have my father take you out. (Tom, horrified, runs and hides but behind his rocks, momentarily unable to write)
confessed by Krissy DiMera at 10:47 AM

Laura, I knew you were up to no good. Why on earth would *I* be helping Isabella? No way in the world is that going to happen babe. She's after my man, do you think i'd ENCOURAGE and help her in anyway and let her have MY John? I don't think so hun. Marlena, I think Laura's been overdosing on those blue pills she stole from the hospital before we left. (Marlena had only been semi listening to what Kristen was rabbiting on about, but then, she noticed Laura standing several feet away, beside a tree, mixing something in to her ever present cup of tea. A look of worry and concern suddenly crossed Marlena's face before she stole a glance at Kristen and wondered if maybe she was right about Laura)
confessed by Krissy DiMera at 10:10 AM

Marlena *Confessional* - Tribe One (still unnamed)

Bob. *Coffee.* [Marlena nearly collapses on the stump and Bob hands her a steaming hot mug of coffee. Marlena wraps her fingers around the mug and inhales the little slice of heaven that is her first hint of caffeine for almost twenty-four hours.]

Bob: You don't look so good Marlena.

Yeah well, it's been a hell of a night, Bob. [She takes a good swig of the coffee but looks as though she wishes it was vodka.] You heard about the John and Isabella situation I suppose? [Bob nods semi-sympathetically, but he really doesn't seem too cut up about it] Apparently that... [Stops herself before she says what she really thinks about Isabella. Although given that she's so tired and stressed out, she's starting to not really give a flying rats ass what she says or who might hear it.] Isabella died her hair blonde. Laura and Shane seem to think it's some sort of plot Frizzy... oops, Isabella and Kristen have cooked up between them. Laura even went so far as to suggest Isabella might have drugged John.... [Suddenly looks thoughtful] So *that's* where Sami learnt that, huh?

Anyway... [sighs] I just don't know what to think any more. Ever since I found out about John's little John Thomas, things haven't been quite the same. If you know what I mean. [Bob nods with a grin] *Twice* Bob. *Twice* in eight months. I ask you, does that seem fair to you? [Bob, his expression somewhere between astonished and outraged, shakes his head.] Well, no, I don't think so either... especially given that I have so much lost time to make up for...

*Anyway*.... [she drains the coffee and looks back at the camp. Roman is staring soulfully at her with big brown eyes and he hasn't said anything to anyone for close to two days. It's starting to totally freak Marlena out, along with a whole lot of other things] .... I was fairly upset yesterday and so I went for a walk with Craig. We just sat on the beach for a while and watched the sun set, which was really nice. It was nice just to have the company without someone blaming me for something for a change. He just held my hand and was just very sweet. [leans forward conspiritorially] I really think that Laura is completely wrong about him you know.

confessed by Marlena at 10:07 AM

Well so anyway, it was nice until we heard some rustling in the undergrowth not that far away from us. Craig got up to check it out and here's *Brady*. He'd been spying on us and he started shrieking about how he was going to tell John that I'm having an affair with Craig and John would see the truth about what a slut I am and he'd rush back into Isabella's arms even faster than he already was. [gets all teary eyed again] As you can imagine, that was the last straw and I told the little asswipe that I hoped his parents would be happy together because they deserved each other. [Looks devastated] I don't mean it but I'm just not thinking straight. There's so much weird stuff going on around here on top of the John thing. I mean, I heard that horrid little man Tom Langan turned up. While that explains all the freaky stuff going on it doesn't make me any happier about the situation. I mean with Tom around, aren’t things likely to only get worse? And my Belle... the grown up version that is.... is stuck on the team with that man and *Stefano* and Hope and her Daddy is nowhere to be found. Oh and *Hope*.... Don't even get me started on the rumor that I heard about her the other day.

[Bob asks what rumor that might be.] Well the one where... [blushes, completely embarrassed. Bob puts her out of her misery, or maybe sinks her even further into it as he confirms that Hope did indeed state that she wants Marlena for her very own. But then reassures her with the information that Hope may well have set her sights on Shane Donovan instead.]

Oh my goodness. Shane? I think I'd better go and warn Laura.

Bob: Hang on, what happened with Brady?

Brady? [Marlena looks around, realizing she hasn't seen Brady at all since yesterday evening] Oh, I *think* he went off to find John. He took off like Evel Kanavel on those canes. Although I think he might have hurt himself when he barrelled into that rock. I did go and try to help him but... [lifts her hands] he doesn't want my kind of help evidently. [She shrugs] I sure hope he's not hurt or anything. [Yawns] I think I might try and take a nap if you'll excuse me....
confessed by Marlena at 9:51 AM

John Black *Confessional*

Hey Bob. Now you have to listen. I don't have time for this stupid game. I have been looking through my magic goggles. That little wormy, short guy Craig Wesley is trying to put the moves on my wife. Both Isabella and Kristen are trying to put the moves on me. I am not going to put up with this. Do you understand? The only way I could get *excited* (I know this is network tv so I am using an euphemism) with either one of them was to think about Marlena. I can't do that anymore because that bastard Tom Langan has removed both my brains and my *you get the picture*. I only feel like my old self when I am in bed with Marlena....or on the dance floor. We were dancing recently at Tuscany. I had been mean to Maggie. I don't know why I do it. There is no reason. Anyway, we were dancing, and my hands, as they always do when I am dancing with Marlena, took on a mind of their own. I moved them down...down...down...and I started playing heart and soul on her behind. That was the best I have felt since I felt like my old self. I keep telling Marlena that we shouldn't talk at all. That way that bastard Tom Langan can't ruin us as much. So, I had my hands there and I was forming this picture in my mind...What? What? Who are you? Oh Bob. Sorry, I was on Another World for a second. Yes, I know it was cancelled. Geesh. Well, anyway, I have to get off of here. I have to get back to Marlena. I can't live without her, and I won't be forced to have "no heat" sex with the Ick again. You understand (John grabs Bob by the shirt. Bob is scared.) What do you know? I seem to be getting my brains and "you get the picture" back. Now, keep out of my way. I am finding a way off this island!!!
confessed by John Black at 7:39 AM

Tom Langan Confessional *Tribe Two

(Tom wanders over, dressed in khaki shorts and a 'I *heart* boy bands' t-shirt. He's more than a bit dazed and confused at the goings-on, but tries to clear the drug-induced fog from what's left of his brain and sits down)

Hey there! Bob, is it? Hi Bob, nice to meet you.

I'm not sure what's happening or what I should be doing. I mean, I thought I was supposed to be carrying on business as usual; after all, I do have the highest-rated soap amongst 4-9 year olds to write and produce, you know. So that's what I was doing - taking my required meds, passing out and waiting for the scathingly brilliant (they did tell you I was scathingly brilliant, didn't they Bob?) new daily ideas to pop into my head. See, I used to call them storyline ideas, but let's face, there's nothing resembling any storylines around. So I just go with the daily brain farts (did I mention the 4-9 year olds love me Bob?).

Anyway, I was doing my thing and not paying attention to anything else because I wasn't supposed to have to. I was told this would be just like being at the office - someone else would handle all my calls and my mail (did you know that I never get any negative mail Bob? Nope, it's all glowing, positive reinforcement. Do I rock or what?) I mean, why do you think I brought Nancy Lewis with me? To take care of all this crap. Uh.... I mean, fabulous feedback happening here.

But after spending over a hour looking for her, I finally find a note in with all the mail that I now have piled up (and strangely enough, it all seems to be negative Bob. Why do I only get negative mail when Nancy isn't around?) and....get this.... Nancy called in sick! Can she do that? Call in sick to an island? What the hell kind of luxury item is that?

(He sighs in frustration and disgust, muttering something about replacing her when they are free, but there is the little problem about those old photos from the farm days and that stable hand...)

Well, it's been real and all but I have to get back now. So much to do, and no help to do it. How the hell am I going to get Rebecca Morrison back to town (that's really John's true love, if you didn't know Bob) when I'm being distracted by all this other nonsense?!

Oh, two last things. First, I think this immunity whatever is totally wrong. There was no J+M affair; at least, there hasn't been one since I've taken over. And if I didn't write it, it didn't happen. Hell, sometimes even if I did write it, it didn't really happen - so how could this possibly be a fair question/challenge?

And lastly, has anyone told you Bob, that all the men (except for me of course) are required to be shirtless on this island? You may not understand it, most don't - but trust me. And you know, you really are a very handsome man Bob....


confessed by Tom Langan at 3:15 AM

(Holding Marlena's hand, Craig examines her delicate hand, her long fingers, soft and smooth.) Do you want to talk about it? (He looks at Marlena and their eyes meet and for a moment there is an akward silence.) It's okay, if you don't want to, I didn't mean to pry. (Craig looking down the beach, then back at Marlena. Her hair glistening in the light, like cornsilk, he can't help but stare. When she notices him looking at her, Craig shyly looks away.) Nice weather. (Trying to change the subject. His nimble surgeon fingers, fidget nervously with Marlena's.)
confessed by Craig Wesley at 1:04 AM

(Shane, busy tinkering with his ISA computer, checking on the latest Roman info from interpol, hears a voice from the past...) Kim: Gov'ner?

Shane: Kim? Is that you?

Kim: I'm only here for a moment...no one can catch me.

Shane: What is it? It sounds urgent.

Kim: It is, Shane. It's my brother. Well, it's John. You know I've always considered him my brother...he's being seduced and Marlena's marriage is going to be wrecked if something isn't done. Do you remember that skank Isabella?

Shane: It's the strangest thing. I thought I saw her in the camp earlier, but I was busy searching for Laura and didn't think twice about it.

Kim: Shane, you're the only friend John can trust over here. Will you look out for him and keep these other women away? We'll work later on plans to get the two of them back together. For now the key is just keeping the others away.

Shane: Most certainly Kim, you can count on me. But I have a favor to ask of you...and I know this is really a difficult thing to say to a woman who has meant so much to me...but you've moved on with Phillip now...anyway, I'm concerned about Laura. She seems like a wonderful woman, but I'm worried about the pressures of island life for someone who has been apparently locked up for a couple of years. Will you keep an eye on her for me and make sure she's out of trouble.

Kim: Shane, we have a history and a friendship. Remember, Friends, then lovers? I'll do whatever you need. I just want you to be happy.

Shane: Thanks, Kim. You're quite a friend. Please pass along word to both Marlena and Laura that any secret meetings they desire can be held right here in my room.

(They hug and say their goodbyes as Kim sneaks back out of the room and Shane returns to work, hoping Laura will get his message soon.)
confessed by Shane Donovan at 12:57 AM

Part Two Belle Confessional

Bob? Can I talk to you? (Belle suddenly sits up straight and gasps.) Oh my gawd! Sami! My big sister is here! That's her way down there on the beach kicking the sand. Thank god! Someone I KNOW! Well, she's leaving. I'll talk to her later. I love her so much. She's always been so nice to me.

Anyway, Bob… [Bob returns his focus to her tight shiny face, lips swimming in globs of raspberry swirl lip-gloss] Can I confide in you? I mean, I haven't even told my friends this.

Bob: Uhm, are you sure you want to talk about *it*?

Oh yes! Being here on this island with nothing to do has made me face some things… *Things* I try not to think about, much less talk about. (Belle's perky face becomes sullen, causing her blue eye shadow to appear deep purple.) Bob… have you ever heard of someone who never had a childhood?

[Bob nods, saying yes, he's heard of children who have to grow up so fast that they don't ever get to be children.]

No, that's not what I mean. I mean they REALLY didn't have a childhood. [Bob looks confused, but decides this is better than listening to the guy with the canes and relaxes back.] You see, I don't remember about ten years of my life, and the more I try, the worse it gets. It's like one day I woke up (Makes a big swooping motion with her arms.) and POOF I went from being 6 years old to 16! But you know what's really really really weird? [Bob shrugs his shoulders.] Time didn't continue.... like I mean, no time passed, but I AGED! What do you think of that? And it's the absolute truth! UGH (Belle crashed back down into the sand and tells Bob she thinks sometimes that she's an alien that dropped out of the sky.)


confessed by Belle at 12:24 AM

[Sighs], Oh Marlena, I'm so sorry, but try not to frett too much. [Trying to sound hopeful], I was able to speak with Shane earlier. [Concern filters into her voice], It seems John has not been acting himself at all...Ran right into a tree mumbling something about damned shower supposed to be there. Then there is the unexpected flow of wood--seems they have firewood from now until the end of time...he just kept on muttering about being a priest and tearing into that wood.

[Grabs her hand re-assuringly], Shane is going to try to get him away from the camp madness and into his secret ISA lab so that the two of you can use the goggles. [Noticing the tears in Marlena's eyes], I know it's hard, Honey. But please don't give up. [Smiling lightly], You know better than anyone that John's been having serious identity issues. You told me yourself that even when he's with you lately that he's struggling. Imagine the battle he must be waging without you there to ground him. [Pausing], Wait a minute, I had the camp's goggles with me so that I could show them to Shane and explain how they work. Marlena, where did you get goggles? [Crying, Marlena mumbles something about Kristen.] Oh, Darling, don't you see...this is probably just a set up. [Thinking], In fact, I'd almost guarantee it. Remember this afternoon when I went to see Kristen...to give her some meds. [Tugging on her ear], Gleemonex--it's new, still experimental...anyway it causes a person to fixate on a positive memory. What if Kristen and Isabella are in co-hoots together. [Mumbles], Those little b*tches! [Looking back at Marlena], Isabella could have slipped the pill into John's food. [Shaking her head], Oh this is all my fault. [Turning to Marlena], Honey, I know you've got to be exhausted mentally and physically--it's been a long day. Why don't you try to lie down and get some rest. [Reluctantly, Marlena nods tearily and heads into the tent].[Glancing around the camp, she sees Kim.], Kim, thank goodness I've found you! I think Kristen and Isabella are up to something, and I need your help. I need you to get to Shane and let him know what's going on--someone is going to have to look after John. I'd go myself, but I've already been caught once today too far from camp. Besides I'm worried about Marlena and would really feel better if I were close by. [At the mention of Shane, Kim smiles and begins to nod enthusiastically.]
confessed by Laura at 12:22 AM

Belle Confessional *Tribe Two

(Belle is lying on the beach in her itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikini, with her makeup bag servicing as a pillow. She is startled when she senses a huge shadow befall her. Opening her eyes she looks up to see Stefano leering down at her. Then she is doubly startled to see Bob hunkered down in the sand next to her, his camera also taking in the impressive view of the diabolical mastermind. Stefano asks her where her father is, but Belle is speechless as she scoots herself closer to Bob.)

Stefano: Hmmph (He stalks off.)

Oh, Bob, that was close huh? [Bob agrees, sweat flopping onto his Days Survivor T-shirt, mumbling something about guillotines and gas chambers]

I'm not supposed to say a word to that man. Daddy insists. Though sometimes I feel sorry for him. He seems so lost, like a big Saint Bernard. I heard he's been dead a whole buncha times so maybe that's it. That would be really tough to go through, huh?

You know, Bob… I couldn't find my dad last night. You remember, when I bumped into that British guy who told me he knew my parents… well I couldn't find Daddy anywhere, and he wasn't around this morning either. I'm worried that skank-haired lady did something to him. What if she's a ghost too? OMG! What if I'm a ghost!

Bob: Oh, no of course you aren't. These people are just kind of strange. Strangest bunch I've ever dealt with.

Well, how's my mom doing? I miss her. You've seen her haven't you?

[Bob's fatherly instincts coming forth] Bob: She's doing okay, don't worry about her.

How about that little girl looking like me? Have you seen her? I had this funky nightmare about her. She was telling me these icky stories about being kidnapped.

[Bob's eyes shift uncomfortably, as he shakes his head, reminding himself this is just a job]

Good, I hope I never see her again.



confessed by Belle at 12:22 AM

(After searching the ISA room, Shane found that he, too, had virtual reality goggles in his collection. This would be his chance to find Laura. After putting the goggles on his head, he was startled with the view that came into focus. It was John and Isabella kissing). What the bloody hell is that? (After nearly dropping the goggles, Shane grabbed them at the last minute. He knew the impact this would have on Marlena and therefore Laura, who was living and breathing Marlena's husband trouble. This would be a piece of information he'd keep to himself.)

(Shane realized he'd left the compass in his room. Here he was gazing at the WEST side of the island...his own side. After fetching the compass, Shane gazed into the EAST. There she was. Laura looked casual, yet beautiful, in her jeans and blouse.) If only Marlena wasn't on the EAST as well. I need to find a go-between who can help us get together. A meeting in the ISA room would be secluded enough I believe. I think Hope would be helpful in this situation. She was always a friend. But I've been hearing things lately about her...the most disturbing being her the strange captivity occuring in her attic. I definitely don't think she's one to be trusted. Maybe Bob can help me on this one...Oh Bob ol' chap!
confessed by Shane Donovan at 12:22 AM