"Wow Mom!" Eric's eyes widen as Marlena descends the stairs. "You look... wow!"
She is dressed in a short blue skirt which shows off her long, golden legs. They disappear into cream pumps and her blouse is low cut enough to show tantalizing expanses of flesh.
Marlena looks down at her clothes, her cheeks flushing. "Is it... too much?" She sighs as she reaches the bottom of the stairs. "I'm.... Grace got rid of all my clothes."
Eric and Belle pause for a beat and then Belle shakes her head. "No, you look great Mom."
"It is too much," she sighs and bites her lower lip as she looks down at her clothes. "I need to go shopping, but I can't..." she stops short, looking at her children. She wonders if it's occurred to Belle yet that since John is Roman, his money does not belong to him. She should wait so that she and Roman can tell the children together the situation they now find themselves in.
"Where is your father?" She looks around.
"Um..." Belle looks to Eric, her cheeks flushing.
"He's in the study," Eric says without embarrassment. "I think he's giving Sami hell."
"What?" Marlena's brow furrows as she looks towards the archway that leads to the kitchen and to the study. "I thought that Sami-"
"Sami never changes Mom, you should know that," Eric interrupts as gently as he can, trying to soften the blow. "I think it's about time someone really told her how it is and I think Jo..." he pauses and then gives her a wry grin. "I think Dad is doing that now. You guys have been too soft on her for years. You buy into the guilt trips and let her manipulate you. You need to stop letting her have her own way all the time. If she doesn't like the way things are, then she needs to learn to deal with it. Not that she can change it by throwing a temper tantrum or making people feel guilty."
Marlena doesn't reply immediately. She holds her son's gaze steadfastly and then after a moment, she looks at Belle. Belle inclines her head slightly to indicate her agreement with her brother and Marlena can't help the smile that flickers into life and lights up her face. "Well, obviously I did *something* right with the two of you."
Eric is about to respond when the sound of Sami's hysterical voice grabs their attention and he turns to look at the same time Belle and Marlena do.
"Stay away from me! Get away from me! Leave me alone!" Marlena's heart pounds as she hears Sami's panicked cries. And then the words become muffled, finally petering out into silence. Marlena looks at Belle and Eric and then back towards the study.
"Leave it Mom," Eric says quietly. "Let them sort it out."
"I..." Marlena's voice fades before she even fully forms the thought. It's not that she doesn't trust Roman with Sami. She knows they've had their differences, but Sami is his daughter. His little girl. He loves her and will always love her, no matter what she does. No, it's more that she doesn't trust Sami with Roman's heart. He has had so much to deal with, so much loss, so much taken from him. She doesn't think she can bear to see him shattered once again. She knows he's gotten his hopes up once more. Last night, she could see it in his eyes. Just before they'd left the Brady's, he had looked at Sami and his face had been full of hope and love. He'd let his guard down and it seems Sami is taking full advantage of that fact.
"I can't." The words are said angrily and decisively and Belle tries to catch her mother as she stalks past them. But Marlena shakes off Belle's tentative touch and her mouth is set in a thin line as she comes to the study door. The sounds inside are muffled now, quiet noises and murmurs and she stops uncertainly, her anger ebbing away.
She lays a hand on the door handle and bites her lip, momentarily unsure of what to do. Then swallowing, she pushes the door open.
Marlena is momentarily astounded by the scene she sees. On the floor, near to the door, are Sami and Roman. Sami is in her father's arms, clinging to him for what appears to be dear life. Roman looks up at Marlena and winks with a small smile.
"It's okay Doc," he tells her quietly at her questioning look. "We're okay. We'll be out soon." It's a firm and final answer. We're okay. As Sami looks up at her, red rimmed blue eyes shining with misery and hope, she is struck by the connection that suddenly exists between her husband and her daughter. There's something there, something she hasn't seen for years, since Lamont came into their lives. And it's something that makes her heart leap with joy.
She smiles softly at Sami, wondering what it is that brought the breakthrough, and as her gaze wanders further into the room, she sees the items on the desk. Sweet tatters of long past memories; keepsakes that Roman has guarded and cherished despite everything that Sami had thrown at him ever since Lamont had taken his place in the family.
She's surprised and yet she's not. Over the years Roman has steadfastly refused to reveal his inner self to Sami. She's never been entirely sure whether it has been self-protection on his part of whether he was just unwilling to intrude once again on that part of her life. A girl's relationship with her father, he had once said, should be sacred. He had loved Sami and he had missed her desperately but he had known how much she loved Roman and he was not willing to muddy those waters. At least, so he said. She's long suspected it was just as much about not opening himself up to rejection by Sami once again. It had wounded him so much before, she completely understands why he hadn't been prepared to open himself up to that kind of pain again.
But last night... last night she had seen the hope flare in his eyes. Seen him softening, letting down the walls he has built to keep the pain of Sami's anger and resentment out.
If she had turned on him once again, like Sami is wont to do... Marlena can't imagine how he must have felt.
She knows him, knows Roman, better than she knows herself. At the moment, far, far better than she knows herself. She knows how deeply he loves, how strongly he feels. To start to open himself up to the possibility of a relationship with his daughter only to be shot down once again must have been the last straw. Must have finally broken him down to the point where he felt he had nothing left to lose with Sami. Where he'd laid everything on the table, literally.
She looks back at her husband, his arms tight around his daughter, Sami's face buried once again in his neck and she smiles. Nodding, she blows him a silent kiss and then turns around and leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
"What's going on Mom?" Belle's pale and solemn face greets her as she re-enters the living room.
"Everything's okay baby." Marlena smiles. It's the first truly genuine smile she's managed since all this started. Since the day she became someone else. At last, something good. If something good can come of this, if she can piece her family back together, her family that has been broken and wounded for so long, then maybe this has all been worth it. Maybe she can look behind her and not see a total wreck of a life, one that almost destroyed her and the people she loves. Maybe she will have something to thank Grace and Stefano for, after all.
She comes to her children and takes Belle's hands in hers. "Let me look at you." She studies her youngest child with her warm cinnamon gaze. "My, I think you've grown an inch since I last saw you." She smiles but her eyes sadden as she lets Belle's left hand drop and lifts her fingers to rearrange her daughter's hair where it spills over her shoulder. "I'm so sorry sweetheart. That I wasn't here for you. That I said the things to you that I did."
"I'm just so glad you're back, Mom," Belle throws her arms around her mother and hugs her tightly. "And it wasn't so bad. I had Granma and Granpa," she lets go of Marlena and rocks back on her heels, turning to look at her older brother. "And I had Eric to look after me." She smiles at him, almost shyly and with untrammelled adoration and Marlena can immediately see how close they have become.
"Hey, you're my kid sister," Eric steps forward and slings his arm around Belle's neck. "Couldn't leave you to the mercies of Granma and her endless milk and cookies, could I?" He grins at his mother. "Granma never changes Mom, you'll be glad to know. Still trying to stuff us full of food the moment we walk through the door."
"Well yes, that is good to know," Marlena laughs. "Oh Eric, it's so good to see you." She reaches out and takes his face between her hands, studying his features. He has matured and grown even more handsome since she had seen him last. But there's something in his eyes, a sadness that she has never seen before. "Honey, are you okay? Is everything okay back home?"
"Yeah," his expression softens in the face of her concern. He's spent so little time with her and yet she knows him so well. "Yeah Mom, things are fine. But I've been... I don't know, since Belle's been there and now she's gone.... I've been missing you all. And those loose ends, they're tied up now."
"Loose ends?" Marlena asks with raised eyebrows, but under the question, there is an air of caring and compassion that Eric takes to mean that she understands. Well, of course she understands, she's loved and she's lost. She, more than anyone would understand the things he's feeling.
"It's done," he says quietly, his voice heavy under the weariness he feels in his heart. "Nothing more to say."
"Oh baby, I'm sorry." She pulls him to her and wraps her arms around his broad shoulders. "If you want to talk about it..."
"Maybe some time," he says softly. "But not right now, Mom. Right now I want to concentrate on you and Dad and this crazy situation we're all in."
"Right now," Marlena cups his face in the palms of her hands again. "Right now *I'm* just so glad you're here. And I know this seems crazy to you, but I'd love it if we could all just try and be normal," she smiles softly, her golden eyes full of hope. "Let's just get back to normal as soon as we can."
"Normal?" Roman's amused voice comes from behind her. "Since when has our family ever been normal, Doc?"
They all turn to look at him.
"Roman." A smile spreads across Marlena's face. For Roman, it's like the sun has risen after a long, frigid storm and it's glorious. His daughter in his arms and his wife, beautiful and smiling. If he could freeze this moment and keep it in his memory crisp and clear forever, he would. He's not sure anything could top this feeling. As though it's all lying in front of them now. The rest of their lives. Together and happy.
"Hey Doc," he says softly. And then, in answer to the unspoken question that shines in her eyes. "We're fine," he says, tightening his arm around Samantha's shoulders. "We've sorted things out." He doesn't say anything more but his eyes tell her that she shouldn't ask any more questions now. He will tell her later, when they are alone the things that were said. He will share everything with her, as he always does and always will. When the time is right.
"Mom?" Sami's voice is reedy and she clings to Roman as though he will protect her from the consequences of the words she is about to say?
"Yes Sami?" Marlena's voice is soft but there is a thread of steel running through the simple reply. Marlena loves Sami, but she doesn't trust her. She's so used to being hurt by her daughter, it's almost second nature to ready herself for the next attack.
"I just..." Sami chokes back a sob. "I wanted to say..." she clenches her jaw tightly, clearly battling the urge to break down. Marlena watches as Sami curls her visible hand into a tight fist and swallows before taking a deep breath. Roman's arm around her shoulder tightens, bolstering her courage. "I wanted..." Her voice is strong but she stops without any discernible reason and then her voice softens, as all the emotion she is struggling to control slips into it. "Mom, I know I've done a lot of terrible things. I've done terrible things to you and I wanted..." a tear slips down her cheek, "I wanted you to know how sorry I am. I did things and I hurt people, all for the wrong reasons. For selfish reasons. And I know I can't make them right, but I can say sorry and I can mean it and I can promise to change and be a better person. Be a better daughter. So that's what I'm going to do." She takes another deep breath and looks up at Roman with a small smile. He looks back at her, his smile full of love and pride and Marlena can see the immediate effect that his reaction has on their daughter. Sami seems to fill with his love, to brighten until she is almost glowing and Marlena can only wonder at the sudden transformation.
Sami disengages herself from Roman's embrace and steps forward until she is standing before her mother. "I did mean what I said last night Mom. I was frightened and I was stupid and I wanted to take it back this morning because I didn't want to face the things I've done and the fact that I've fucked up over and over again and there wasn't even any good reason-" she stops short and shakes her head. "No, there was never any good reason. I know that. I was selfish. I'm so sorry I hurt you. But I'm going to make it up to you."
Her words and her manner are so intense that Marlena is a little taken aback. But her tearstained face and her shining blue eyes as well as Roman's pleased smile combine to convince her that this time, Sami means what she's saying. That she really understands and accepts that her actions over the years following Stefano's introduction of Lamont into their lives have been wholly objectionable. And that she intends to make amends and change, at long last. Marlena doesn't imagine that it will be that easy, but if Samantha intends to try, then that's enough for her. That's all she's ever wanted from her daughter really. An acknowledgement of past wrongs and for her to accept John for the man that he is. For the father that he was and could still be.
"I promise," Sami continues. "Things are going to change from now on. I'm going to be the daughter you always wanted."
"Oh Sami," Marlena reaches out and strokes Sami's hair. "Baby, you always *have* been. You've *always* been all that I wanted. Yes, you've done things I would rather you hadn't. We've had tough times, but you.... I told you last night. I *love* you. I'll always love you."
"Oh Mom!" Sami's face crumples, her mother's simple and frank declaration completely disarming her. Marlena pulls her into her arms and hugs her close as Sami's tears soak into the shoulder of her blouse. "It's okay baby," she murmurs softly. "It's all going to be okay."
Then she looks over at Belle and Eric who stand silently watching the scene. "I love all of you," she says simply. "The three of you and Carrie, you're all that your father and I could have ever wanted."
"Your Mom is right there," Roman grins, moving to where Marlena is hugging Sami and he folds one arm around her. With the other, he motions for Eric and Belle to join them. Belle is the first to move and she slides in under Roman's arm with a cry of "Group hug!" and a girlish giggle.
"Family hug!" Eric corrects her as he reaches the small congregation of his family and he curls his arm around his mother's waist and grasps his father's arm, enfolding his sisters into the middle of the family embrace. They stand that way for several minutes, Sami's muffled sobs finally quieting into small sniffles. Then at last, she raises her head.
Eric and Roman loosen their hold and the family group fragments enough so that Sami can look around at all of them.
"Thank you," she says quietly. "I know how lucky I am. I know I've pushed it with all of you. Pushed all of you away. But you just keep coming back and giving me more chances. This time I promise, I'm taking this chance with both hands. This is going to be a new start for me."
"It's going to be a new start for all of us, sweetheart." Roman tells her, taking her hands again. "I'm so proud to be your father. All of you make me so proud."
"Both of us. You make both of us so proud," Marlena adds, slipping her arm around Roman's waist. Roman lets Sami's hands slip from his and then he curls his arm around his wife and kisses the top of her head.
"And you," he tells her, with a smile, "officially make me the luckiest man ever to walk the face of this earth. Stefano tried to take this from me, tried to steal my family away, but it was only you that never let me go. Even when I was at my lowest, when I just wanted to run away and try and forget everything I'd lost, you wouldn't let me go. You wouldn't let me feel sorry for myself." His azure eyes shine fiercely from his suntanned face, willing her to hear his words and take them as gospel truth. "You kept believing in me, even when I couldn't believe in myself. And you brought me back to this place. Without you and without Grace, we never would have known the truth."
"Without Grace..." she can't help but smile at the irony. That Grace, who had tried with all her might to destroy Roman, had ultimately given him the greatest gift that it was possible to give. His family back.
"Yeah, without Grace...." He shrugs, the intensity dropping from his shoulders and his face as he returns her smile. "So I don't want you feeling guilty any more, Doc. Okay?"
Marlena raises her eyebrows and shrugs with an expression that is as eloquent as any words she can say. Roman understands it to mean something like 'Wanting me not to feel guilty is like wanting the rain not to fall or the sun not to set. Wanting is all very well, but having is an entirely different matter.'
She follows it up with a small smile and then, "I rang Laura. She's coming to visit next week."
"Great!" Relief floods through the single word as he pulls her into a hug. "Baby, that's great news."
"Don't expect immediate miracles, Roman," she warns him quietly. "This is going to take time. Quite some time. There's a lot to deal with."
"I know it is, baby. But as long as I know we've started down that road...." He cups her face in his hands and gives her a long, slow kiss. "Listen, I know I said I'd stay here with you but since the kids are here, do you mind if I pop out for an hour? I've got some errands to run," he looks over at his children who are watching them, evidently quite intrigued by the exchange. "Is that okay with you guys, you don't need to take off anywhere, do you?"
"No, we're cool." Eric shrugs. "I'm happy to hang out here for a while."
"It's okay honey," Marlena gives him a tight smile. "Your Dad is just being his usual overprotective self. I'll be fine if you have something else to do." She turns to her husband with a trace of irritation in her voice. "I don't need babysitting, Roman."
"I didn't say you did, sweetheart." Roman says gently, "but since the kids are here I thought they might like to keep you company." His smile fades and he becomes a little more serious. "And honey, I know you. You've been through a hellish time and you're blaming yourself. I'm not going to allow you any more time alone to dwell on it than I have to. And if you don't like that and if you think I'm being overprotective, then I'm sorry. But I love you and I'm trying to do what's best for you. Because I', damned if I'm going to watch you suffer any more than you absolutely have to, all right?"
Marlena's eyes have drifted downwards during his speech and her cheeks have colored pink. She is staring at her hands, her eyes downcast when he slides his fingers under her chin and lifts her head so she is forced to look at him. "All right?" he asks again. She looks at him from under her lashes and then after a beat, she nods.
"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I didn't mean...."
"I know you didn't," he folds his arms around her and pulls her close. "I just love you, Doc. I love you so much. I just want to make things better for you, you know?"
"I know." She kisses him softly. "Of course I know, Roman. And I love you for it. Just don't think you have to wrap me in cotton wool, okay? I am strong, I will make it through this."
"I know you will." Roman kisses her back. "We're all here to help you in any way you need it, okay?" He looks at the kids. "You sure you're okay to stay with your mom?"
"Sure." Eric nods although there is a tinge of disappointment to his expression.
"Honey, you don't have to." Marlena picks up on the subtle clues to his mood and gives him a loving smile. Of the three of them, Eric is the least predictable and she doesn't want to push him too far, too fast. "I'm sure the girls will stay if you have somewhere else to be."
"Oh no, it's not that," Eric shakes his head, clearly surprised at her interpretation of his mood. "Mom, I'm here because I *want* to spend time with you. I feel... we almost lost you... again. It made me realize, I've been taking you for granted. You and the rest of the family. So I want to spend time with you. As much time as I can... that's why I've decided I'm moving home."
"Eric!" Belle squeals loudly and she follows it up with a delighted giggle as she throws her arms around him. "That's great! That's so cool!"
"That *is* wonderful news, honey," Marlena smiles warmly. "Gosh, I'm so pleased." She moves from Roman's side to take Eric's hand. "I have to admit, I've been hoping you might want to move home since you were here last."
"Yeah well, you know I was thinking about it and then I kind of got caught up in life back in Colorado. But there's nothing keeping me there now, so I thought, new start with my family... what better opportunity, right? Get to know my Dad... and my Mom all over again." He smiles at Marlena, his eyes sparkling and she can see echoes of Roman in his features. "So you see, it's not that I don't want to spend time with you," Eric looks over at Roman, "I guess thought... I was just kinda hoping that we could *all* spend some time together. Catch up as a family."
"Hey kid," Roman grins widely. "We can still do that. I'm only going out for an hour or two. If you don't have any other plans, when I get back we can hang out all day if you like."
"I'd like." Eric returns his father's smile. It is a tentative and hopeful gesture at the same time.
"Great," Roman claps his hand on Eric's shoulder and squeezes it briefly. "Well I'll leave you to catch up with your Mom. I'll be back just as soon as I can, okay?"
"Okay." Eric nods and Roman looks past him to Sami. "That okay with you sweetheart?"
"Sure," she says quietly as Belle's hand slips into hers. "It sounds good."
"Okay then," he turns to Marlena. "I'll get going then, Doc. Shouldn't be more than an hour or two. Take care of our kids while I'm gone." He smiles, his eyes sparkling and then cups her hand in his cheek and leans forward to press a soft but passionate kiss to her lips.
"I will," she whispers, covering his hand with her own. "I love you Roman."
"I know you do, baby and I love you too." He kisses her again and then with a wave and a kiss blown to his children, he leaves Marlena and the children to catch up.