“Here you go man,” Bo sets a cup of steaming coffee in front of Roman and then slumps into the seat beside Kayla.
“Thanks Bo,” Roman stares at the coffee while the rest of his family stare at him.
“How about I make some sandwiches?” Caroline suggests anxiously. Roman is drawn, like he hasn’t eaten or slept properly in days. Even if he wasn’t her son, even if he was just plain John Black, she’d still be worried about him.
“No, I’m fine Ma,” Roman shakes his head wearily. “Coffee will do just fine.” As though to prove his point, he picks up the cup and takes a slug of the strong, hot liquid. Caroline remains unconvinced and Roman manages to force a smile onto his face for her sake. “Seriously Mom, stop worrying. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine Roman,” Kayla tells him bluntly. “You look like hell. You should have called us.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” He lifts his eyes from the coffee cup to meet hers and Kayla can tell he is being honest. “I shouldn’t have shut you out, but Doc’s been so… I’ve been so worried about her and I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t wanted to leave her, but I don’t know how to help her.”
“Well, you can’t help her by not eating or sleeping Roman,” Caroline lays her hand over Roman’s. “You need to take care of yourself son. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal. She takes a breath and then broaches the subject that she knows lies between them. The elephant in the room that they need to acknowledge before Roman will start to let them in. “Roman, listen… I know you have every right to be angry with us for what we did to you-“
“Ma,” Roman holds up his free hand. “You did nothing to me. It was Stefano, he snowed us all.” A dark scowl passes across his face momentarily and then it is gone, just the weariness remaining. “Yeah,” he nods for a moment, holding Caroline’s eyes and then he twists his hand so he holds hers in his. “Yeah, I’ll admit I’ve been feeling hurt and angry. I won’t deny that. But you know what? *I’ve* made worse mistakes than that. How can I blame you? You just went by the evidence that was in front of you. Lamont was convincing. He looked like Roman, he had Roman’s memories and he had a DNA test that said he was Roman. What were you supposed to do?”
“Listen to my heart,” Caroline tells him simply. “I gave birth to you. I should have known you were Roman.”
“With this face?” Roman chuckles darkly. “Mom, stop giving yourself such a hard time. The old man messed with our heads. It’s what he does.” He takes a deep breath and squeezes Caroline’s hand as he looks around the rest of his gathered family. “It’s done now. We know the truth, so let’s just forget about it all. Please. I don’t need you to blame yourself. I need you to help me get through this.” He pauses, his voice catching in his throat. “I need you to help me help Doc get through this.”
“Of course,” Caroline nods, catching her lower lip between her teeth. “How is she, Roman?”
“Bad,” he says simply, his blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. “She’s not sleeping, she barely eats and I can’t get her to talk to me. She’s… I’ve never seen her like this Ma. All the things she’s been through before, she’s always been so strong… But this, this time she’s… broken.”
“Hasn’t Laura been able to help?” Bo asks, catching Kayla’s eye.
“Not really,” Roman sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Doc won’t talk to her either. She’s been supportive and she’s been giving Marlena sedatives so she can sleep, but there’s only so much of that that’s good for a person. The moment she stops taking the sedatives, Marlena can’t close her eyes without having a nightmare and she just refuses to talk about them. Or anything that happened really.”
“But she can’t carry on like this, surely?” Kayla asks, her brow creasing in concern. “Neither of you can carry on like this Roman. Clearly you’re not sleeping either. Maybe…” she hesitates for a moment and then she continues. “Maybe Marlena needs more help that you can give right now. You or Laura. Maybe she needs-“
“Don’t say it Kay.” Roman glares angrily at her. “I’m not putting Marlena in a hospital. I won’t do it.”
“But if it’s best for her, Roman…” Kayla replies as gently as she can.
“It’s not best for her,” Roman snaps, pushing himself out of the booth and stalking across the room. He turns his glare back on Kayla as he slams his hand down on the bar. “Doc needs to be surrounded by the people that love her, *not* by strangers. She needs our love and support Kay, *not* to be shut away because we’re afraid for her and don’t know what the *hell* to do.”
“Hey. Kay was just trying to help, Roman,” Bo says with a calmness that he does not feel.
“It’s okay Bo,” Kayla says quietly, trying to stem the rising emotions that are filling the room, threatening to overwhelm them all.
“No, it’s not.” Bo shakes his head as he looks over at his big brother. He understands Roman’s turmoil and that he is hurting but he doesn’t need to take it out on Kayla. Or any of them.
Despite the fact that Roman is here, he is still shutting them out with his defensiveness and anger. “Bro, if you don’t think she’s right, that’s fine. But don’t bite her head off for trying to help, okay?” He rotates so that he is facing Roman, his back to his sister as he continues, unable to help himself now. “I mean, what the hell are we supposed to do? Just sit here and say nothing?” He thumps his palm down on the table. “C’mon Roman. Marlena is our family too. We *want* to help. We want to be here to support both of you. But you gotta tell us what to do man. You gotta help us to help you!”
Roman sighs and leans against the bar, his elbows propped up and his head in his hands. The silence stretches across the bar, paper thin. As though any word, any noise could tear it all apart. Tear Roman from them once again.
Caroline stares at Roman and then at her husband, barely daring to breathe.
Roman’s shoulders slump and shake silently and Caroline is out of her seat before she even knows what she’s doing.
“She’s going to be all right Roman,” she tells him softly as she slides her arm around his back. “She’s so strong, she will get through this.”
“Will she ma?” Roman turns his tearstained face to look at her, his eyes searing through her, begging her to give him some kind of comfort. He is desperate, so desperate it is breaking him into pieces and she would do anything to take his pain away. *Anything*. “Will, she? Because I don’t know any more. I got her back, I can hold her in my arms but she’s slipping through my fingers and I don’t know what to do to make it better. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Maybe, you can’t,” Caroline suggests, gently wiping the tears from his cheeks with her fingers. “Roman, maybe you have to just trust that Marlena will find the strength to make it through this. That you just have to give her the time and the space to find that strength within herself. Like you said, she’s been through so much before and she’s coped with it all. But this has gone deeper; it’s affected her sense of herself as a person. Of course it will take her some time to find her equilibrium. And as hard as it is for you and for all of us, maybe all we can do is to give her that time.”
“But she’s sinking Ma,” his voice shakes as more tears tumble down the weathered planes of his face. “I can give her all the time in the world if that’s what I have to do… but at the moment, time is only making things worse. The nightmares… my God Ma, it’s heartbreaking to watch her. She’s so alone. And I can’t help her because I think every time she looks at my face it just reminds her of all the terrible things Grace did. And the things that the mercenary did… and would have done-” he can’t even bring himself to vocalise it. How can she look at his face and not see the man that had almost violated her? The mercenary who would have smashed her into tiny pieces if he’d had his way.
“I know, son,” Caroline pulls him to her and folds her arms around his large frame. He buries his face in her shoulder and sobs. “I know. You’ve both been through so much. But you have to have faith, Roman.” She moves back out of the embrace and lays a lined hand on the coarse, stubbled flesh of his cheek. “I think Marlena is in the right hands with Laura. She trusts Laura, and Laura understands the things she has been through with Stefano. After all, Laura has been there too. So you have to listen to her. She hasn’t given up on Marlena, has she?”
Roman shakes his head, and sighs heavily. “She’s going to talk to her today. Try and make some headway. That’s partly why she wanted me out of the house I guess. Thought it would be easier to get Marlena to open up without me there.”
“And she thought that maybe you could do with talking about what happened too I think?” Caroline slides her hand down his arm and squeezes his fingers in hers. “Marlena’s not the only one that’s been suffering. Or that has feelings about the things that happened. What about you Roman? How do you feel about everything that happened? About the things you found out?” Her eyes search Roman’s face for hints of what he is feeling. “The things that Stefano did to you and Marlena, they were horrific. You can’t just keep all the feelings about those things locked up inside you.”
Roman takes a deep breath and wipes away the traces of tears that still linger on his face with the back of his sleeve. “I know Mom, but I can’t even think about how I feel about everything that’s happened until things are better with Doc. If I even start to think about what happened… it just comes back to her.”
“Come back and sit down Roman,” Kayla calls across to him. “Please.”
Roman nods wearily and shuffles back to the booth, pulling up a chair and turning it around so he can rest his arms atop its back.
“Mom, Pop, Bo… can I have some time alone with Roman, please?” Kayla asks them softly. Caroline has misgivings but she nods all the same. She knows that it is most likely to be a one on one conversation that will allow Roman to lower his defences. And Kayla is probably the best of them all to initiate that conversation. Roman will always try and be the strong, supportive son to Shawn and herself, but with his siblings, he is more likely to open up and give his true emotions free reign.
And with Kim unable to make it back from California just yet, Kayla is definitely the best of them to undertake this.
“We’ll just be in the back if you needs us,” she takes Shawn’s hand and together they make their way out of the bar. Bo lingers, looking first at Kayla and then at Roman, unsure of whether he should really go, or not.
“Go,” Kayla tells him. “We’ll be fine. I’ll call you if we need you.”
“Okay,” Bo nods. “You know where I am man. Any time, yeah?”
“Yeah, Bo. Thanks little brother,” Roman holds his hand out. Bo reaches out and shakes it, clapping his hand against Roman’s upper arm. Roman watches him go and then turns back to Kayla. “Why do I feel like I’m about to get a lecture Kay?” he asks, his voice hoarse.
“Because what you are saying is horseshit,” Kayla says, her emotions running close to the surface. She knows Caroline hates to see Roman upset and that is part of why she has chosen to remove everyone else from this conversation. Roman needs to get upset, he needs to get damn *angry* at the unfairness of what has been done to them. “Roman, I get that you’re scared for Marlena, but to focus on her to the extent that you totally exclude *your* emotional reactions to everything that happened to the two of you is not good for you. You’re both in denial if you think you can start to move past this thing without confronting what happened.”
“I’m fully aware that I need to deal with it Kayla,” Roman’s fingers grip the back of the chair so hard that his knuckles blanch white. “I just don’t think that now is the time.”
“And when will be the time?” Kayla demands as gently as she can. “Roman, life outside of the penthouse is still carrying on. Things are in motion… Stefano’s trial is coming up. Have you thought about that? They’ll subpoena you to give evidence, you know that.”
“They won’t have to subpoena me,” Roman growls. “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away from that courtroom.”
“And do you think you’ll make a good witness if you haven’t discussed the things that he did?” Kayla asks him bluntly. “I mean, come on Roman, the man is a monster. He’s done terrible, *appalling* things. You said as much earlier. He stole your life and your family from you. He took Marlena, held her prisoner and had her-“
“*Stop* Kay,” the words tumble out of Roman’s mouth before she can finish her sentence. He doesn’t want to hear it, not from her mouth. He can feel the anxiety and rage rising inside him and he needs to contain them. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t know what he might do. He easily might demolish everything in this bar if he doesn’t keep control of his emotions. And thinking about what Stefano did to Marlena when she was so helpless is just going to kick any kind of control he might be able to exhibit into touch. “I know what Stefano has done. Believe me, I know all the low-life, despicable things he’s done.”
“And you’re just going to be able to sit there in court and listen to all that? And to testify without losing your cool?” Kayla asks him, not without sympathy.
“I’ll have to.” The muscle in his cheek twitches madly as he glowers darkly at his sister. He understands why she’s doing this, but really, it isn’t helping him, much as she might think it is.
“When they go into detail about what he did to Marlena? How he let Orpheus loose on her? How he made her into a murderer? You’ll sit there and just *listen* to all that Roman? Really? You’ll be able to sit there and just watch his smug, smirking face as they recount all the things they found in his files?”
“Shut *UP*!” Roman flings his chair aside so it crashes into a nearby table. “All right Kayla, you’ve made your goddamn point!” He swings around, desperately looking for something to hit, something to break and at the same time, desperately trying not to give into the urge to just destroy everything in his path. But the anger is too much and giving into his rage, he grabs another chair and smashes it against one of the booth tables several times until it splinters into firewood his hands. And when he is finished with that one, he finds another to vent his frustration on.
Kayla cringes with every blow but she holds her hand up as she sees Bo’s face at the door which adjoins the bar to the living quarters. Bo retreats and she waits patiently as Roman wears out his anger on the inanimate objects in the bar.
“What am I supposed to do?” he cries, turning back to her, his hands clenched in tight fists. “Tell me Kay because I don’t know what I am supposed to do. I want to *kill* the miserable sonofabitch. When I think of what he did to Marlena I get so angry I just can’t *see* straight.” As though to prove his point, he swipes at one of the shattered chair legs and smashes it several times against a table. “*Damn! *Damnit*!” He throws the splintered chunk of wood away and stalks across the room to the pub door. Part of him wants to leave and to just keep going. Just run until he has no energy for rational thought.
Because thinking just brings him a rage and a despair that he can’t even begin to fathom.
“Roman,” he jumps as he feels Kayla’s hand on his shoulder. And then all the energy seems to drain from him and his shoulders slump. “Roman, its okay to feel all those things.” She tells him gently. “It’s okay to feel angry and frightened. It’s *okay* to feel like you want to kill Stefano for what he did. Any normal, sane person would.” She gently pulls on his arm and turns him so that he is facing her. His face is alive with pain and he tries to turn away from her again. “Roman, you can’t pretend this isn’t happening; that you’re not feeling the things you’re feeling. If you do, if you don’t talk about them and let them out, they’ll end up becoming destructive and that’s not good for you or for Marlena.”
“I only want to make things easier for Doc,” he says helplessly. “I want to make all this go away Kayla. I want to make things right again.” A tear trickles from one impossibly blue eye and Kayla just wants to take her older brother in her arms and in turn, make all his hurt and pain go away. But neither of them have the power to do that, to turn back the clock and undo the havoc and the misery that Stefano has wrought.
“Come and sit down,” she tells him quietly, pulling him to a booth away from the wreckage he has just rained down on the pub. He follows her meekly and sits where she indicates. She slides in next to him and slips her arm around his broad shoulders. He is hot and clammy but she doesn’t care. He is her brother, returned to her at long last. She loves him and she will do anything to help him get through this.
“Of course you want to help her, you love her. You see her in pain and you’d do anything to make that pain go away. I get that, Roman. We all do. But you and I know that you can’t do that. That’s Marlena’s journey. You can walk it with her, but she’s the only one that can heal herself. And you’re the only one that can heal yourself.” She squeezes his forearm. “We’re all here for you Roman. Whatever you need, we’re here to give it to you. Just let us. Let us walk your journey with you. We can support you and help you help her.”
Roman is silent for a moment that seems to stretch out to infinity. The room is silent, almost palpably so. And then he exhales and the sound seems to break the spell that has been woven out of his anger and pain. “Thanks sis,” he says hoarsely. “I’m sorry I’ve been shutting you out. I just don’t…” he shakes his head and sighs miserably. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a family outside Marlena and the kids. I got used to just…. relying on myself. And Doc.” He rubs his face with one calloused hand and then drops it back onto the table, staring at it. All the time spent with Grace in those back woods of Tennessee have told on him in more ways than one. Sometimes he hardly recognises the man that stares back at him from the mirror; all tanned and with lines etched into his face that he’s never seen before. “I kinda forgot how it is to be close to you all, I guess.”
“I don’t blame you for it Roman.” Kayla gnaws on her bottom lip for a moment. He’s right; they hadn’t been there for him. Even as John Black, they’d been his family for so long, they should have been there for him. He was still family, whatever name he went by. But they’d let him down, all of them. “And I’m sorry that we let you forget what it was like to have your family around. That was wrong of us, even if we didn’t know that you… were you.” She manages a faltering smile but then her face becomes serious again. He’s been opening up and she doesn’t want to allow him to close down their conversation just yet. There’s too much he needs to talk about. Too much that has happened that he needs to begin to process. “Roman, how do you feel about Marlena?”
“What do you mean, how do I feel about her?” he looks confused.
“I mean… well Grace, and everything that she did to you. She hurt so many people, and she would have gone with Stefano, if you hadn’t stopped her. Surely you must feel *something* about everything that happened. You must have some kind of residual feelings. I wonder…” she stumbles and the flow of words stops awkwardly for a moment.
“You wonder what, Kayla?” Roman’s voice hardens in response to her probing questions.
Kayla swallows and plays with the ring on her left hand. “Well, I just wonder if there are some feelings you are trying to bury and maybe Marlena is picking up on them and that’s part of why she’s struggling so much.”
“What kind of feelings? What exactly are you implying?” Roman’s voice is bright and cold like a steel blade now and the stiffness has returned to his shoulders.
“I’m not implying anything Roman,” Kayla sighs, irritated with herself for managing to bring his defensiveness back to the fore. “I’m just asking. I’m asking you to tell me how you feel. That’s all.”
“I *love* Marlena,” he says simply. “I’d do anything to see her safe and happy. I have no other feelings.”
“Not even about Grace?” she asks softly.
“Not even about Grace.” He tells her dully. He doesn’t understand why she is doing this. It’s like picking scabs off barely healed wounds and he doesn’t see how it can help at all.
“So you loved Grace too? Despite everything she did to you. And all the trouble she caused for so many people in Salem?” She stops short of bringing up Lamont’s unfortunate demise. For the moment.
“Of course I-” Roman stops short. He’s suddenly shocked that he has no idea what to say. He had been going to say that he didn’t love Grace. But that simple sentence unlocks a whole plethora of emotions that he’s not sure he wants to even think about, let alone discuss with Kayla. And he’s not even sure it’s entirely true. Grace came from Marlena. Of course she was a twisted, broken fragment of the woman he loves, but even so… had he loved Grace?
On some level, the broken, fractured parts of himself that had been left after Stefano took his memories and his identity recognised something in Grace and was drawn to her. He can’t deny that. He had been so desperate and so focused on getting Marlena back; he had never allowed himself to consider Grace as a person. She had simply been a barrier to getting Marlena back. But he has to admit, all the time spent with her had been… frustrating and frightening but strangely exhilarating. He doesn’t miss her. But he doesn’t begrudge the time he spent with her either. He wants to wish it all undone but he finds he can’t. She was Marlena’s guardian during a time he couldn’t be. And she was his journey to finding the truth about himself.
She is inside Marlena. He has to accept that. Marlena has that darkness inside her, as he has his own. Which is why they are, as they have ever been, a perfect fit.
“It’s complex,” he says finally. “How I feel, about everything that happened. How I feel about Grace. I know she hurt people, but,” he shrugs, abandoning any pretence at caring what she thinks of what he says. He doesn’t have the energy to be angry any more. “I love Marlena. And Grace is part of her.” He gives Kayla a half smile. “Sure, I hated her while she was here. I needed to get rid of her to get Marlena back. So I hated her but I was drawn to her and yes,” he nods vehemently, “part of me loved her because she’s part of Marlena. And I don’t feel guilty about that.”
“I would never suggest you should,” Kayla tells him. “In fact, I’m glad. For both of you. It’ll make things a lot easier. But if you follow the logic through; if Grace is part of Marlena and Grace hurt the people you love, how do you reconcile that?”
“I could never be angry at Marlena for the things Grace did.” Again, Roman shrugs. “I don’t know how I could. And I don’t know if that follows any rules of logic. But she was pushed to the edge, Kay. Marlena went through hell when Stefano had her, and Grace was her response to an *impossible* situation. And this time…” he exhales, feeling the pain all over again, the look in her eyes when Stefano had told her where he had been on their honeymoon. Who he had been with. “Marlena broke because of the things I did. And Grace lashed out and hurt me and the people she blamed for Marlena’s pain.”
“She hurt other people too,” Kayla reminds him. “Roman, Grace *killed* people.”
“As have I,” Roman reminds her in a low, gravely voice. “Kayla, I told you, it’s not that simple. She was put in a situation where that was the only way she could respond.” He nods his head, thinking about a conversation he’d had with Laura several days ago. “Stefano had Marlena right where he wanted her. He took everything away from her, allowed her to be…. brutalized and then promised to be her saviour, if only she did what he wanted.” Anger suffuses his face, flushing it a deep red as he relives the things that happened to Marlena. As he has relived them over and over again since he found out what Stefano had done to her. “He warped her, Kay. He twisted her life until the only possible option she had was to become what he wanted her to be. Otherwise, she was dead…” he grimaces, “or worse.”
“I see that,” Kayla tells him, laying her hand on his arm. “Roman, I see the logic of it and I know it must be so hard to think of what happened to Marlena…”
“You have *NO* idea,” Roman snarls so violently that Kayla shrinks back slightly. “Hard? Kayla, it *kills* me, every time I think of it. I should have *protected* her. She’s my wife and I should have protected her from that. Instead, I just left her to the evil, twisted devices of Orpheus and Stefano.”
“But you didn’t know!” Kayla shouldn’t be surprised at this, but somehow she is. It was so long ago and she thought he’d resolved this guilt after Marlena’s return to Salem.
“I should have known,” he says miserably. “Stefano dropped enough hints. He taunted me when I was with Diana, dropped clues that Marlena was still alive.”
“And ultimately, you came to the conclusion that it was just that. Taunting.” Kayla reminds him.
“I should have known the old man wouldn’t do it without a damn good reason,” Roman smoothes his finger over his eyebrow in an unconscious gesture, one he always does when he feels uncomfortable and upset. “Kayla, I *should* have *known*.”
“There was *absolutely* *no* evidence that Marlena was alive, Roman,” Kayla shakes her head. “Much less where she was. Even if you had thought she might be alive, how would you have known where to start looking for her? You know as well as I do that if Stefano doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be found. That island he had her on was in the middle of nowhere. It’s probably not even on any maps. So how could you have found her? How could you have protected her?”
“I should have never let Orpheus take her in the first place.” He’s crying now, the tears rolling silently down his cheeks.
“You did *everything* you could to save her, Roman.” Kayla’s heart is breaking for her big brother and the burden he carries. “When Orpheus had her, when you thought she might be alive, you did *everything* you could. And even if you had continued to search for her, you wouldn’t have found her, we both know that. And Stefano would still have lied to Marlena. Nothing would have been any different. You couldn’t have done anything more.”
She slides her arm around his shoulder again and pulls him against her so that he can cry silently into shoulder. They stay that way for what seems like hours, until Roman’s tears have abated and he feels calmer again.
“It terrifies me,” he tells her softly in a cracked voice, “how close I came to losing her again. She would have left with Stefano. And I would have been alone.” He looks up at her with anguished eyes that are such a vivid sapphire blue that it leaves Kayla momentarily breathless. “And now, Kay, it’s like she’s here but I’m losing her anyway. Doc’s fading away, and I don’t know how to pull her back from the edge.” He turns away again, staring down at the table. “I’m so frightened she’s not going to recover from this and I don’t know how I’m going to survive if she doesn’t get better. I pinned everything on getting Marlena back, but to get her back, only to lose her to this?” He rubs his hand over his face, smearing the traces of tears across his cheeks. “I don’t know how to fight this Kay. I don’t know how to protect her from this.”
“You can’t,” Kayla says simply. “But Roman, Marlena is so strong. I don’t know that I’ve ever met anybody as strong as she is. If anybody can make it through this, she can.”
“And if she doesn’t?” Roman asks, sounding for all the world like a lost, little boy.
“If she doesn’t?” Kayla takes his hand. “Only you can answer that question, Roman. We’ll all be here for you, no matter what. But it’s you that has to find a way forward.”
He stares at the table for a long minute and then slowly turns to Kayla. “For better or worse. When I married Marlena, that’s what I vowed. She’s my life and I can’t imagine living without her. I’ll be with her no matter what. And I’ll help her through this, no matter what it takes or what it costs me. I owe her everything, Kayla.”
“She’s lucky to have you Roman,” his sister tells him, but Roman gives a harsh mirthless chuckle in response.
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew what had happened down in New Orleans,” he scowls.
“Why?” Kayla asks, frowning as she senses she is about to hear a new part of the tale, one that she’s not going to like.
“Because John Black had taken over.” Roman sighs. “We were in the middle of nowhere and… and Grace tricked me. She made me think Marlena was back, that I’d won through and Marlena had come back to me.” He shakes his head, thinking of the pain that had shot through him as Grace had laughed, her trap sprung. “But she hadn’t, it was Grace all the time. And when I realised she wasn’t Marlena… it gave the mercenary his way to get in. And he took over. It was the mercenary that went with Grace to Maison Noir. And when Stefano told him that he only existed in Roman Brady’s head…” he laughs bitterly. “Well, that guy was never exactly stable, was he?”
“What did he do?” Kayla can sense Roman getting edgy beside her and judges it best to allow him some space so she slides out of the booth, allowing him the freedom to move around the bar again. He takes it gladly and paces across the room to the bar where he turns to face her.
“What did he do?” He cocks one eyebrow. “He went to find Grace. Knew she’d tell him the truth. And when she did, he lost it and he…” he pauses, breathlessly. “He attacked her. Tied her to the bed and tried to force himself-” he stops to correct himself. It was what it was; dressing it up in euphemisms doesn’t make it any more acceptable. Or any less horrific. “He was going to rape her Kay. She had a hold over him too and he hated her for it. He needed her submission. Wanted to break her so that she would be nothing to him any more.”
“But he didn’t..?” Kayla asks, horrified at Roman’s admission. No wonder he’s so riddled with guilt. “He didn’t… do it?”
“No.” Roman shakes his head, feeling strangely emotionless. “No, I stopped him. It was though something shattered and suddenly I woke up in my own head again. And he was gone.” He blinks, stopping to consider his words. “I think it’s for good this time, I think this time I fought him and I won.”
“Oh Roman…” Kayla exhales softly, her voice full of sympathy for his pain. She considers the situation Roman must have found himself in, suddenly coming to his senses and seeing Marlena tied up beneath him. “It must have been terrifying.”
“Not as much as when Stefano shot Marlena,” he tells her. “That was when she beat Grace. Stefano had forced his way into the room by that point. He was going to shoot me and Marlena…” he can’t help the rueful smile that curls his lips. “Well, you know Doc would never let Stefano hurt me if she could possibly help it. She fought through and she ran to me as the old man fired. Christ Kay, you don’t know fear until you see blood like that on the woman you love.”
“You two are amazing,” Kayla’s blue eyes sparkle and a warmth suffuses her voice that touches Roman deeply. “Everything you’ve been through, all the crap Stefano throws at you and you’re *still* standing. He’s taken you from each other, he’s tried everything he can to destroy the two of you and still, here you are. Loving each other, refusing to let him win. You’re inspirational.”
“I don’t know if you’d say that if you saw us this morning,” Roman tells her sombrely.
“Listen Roman, I know you’re worried, but I know Marlena.” She smiles reassuringly. “She might be down at the moment, but there’s no way that she’s out. Things will turn around, I know they will.”
“And if she’s called to testify at Stefano’s trial?” Roman asks quietly. “Kay, how can I expect her to do that? How can any of us expect her to face the old man across a courtroom and remember the things he did to her? And the things she did for him?”
“The DA won’t make her testify if she’s not up to it,” Kayla reassures him.
“I don’t know…” Roman shakes his head. It’s all too complex. The things that Grace did for Stefano, the people she hurt. If Marlena relives that in court… he doesn’t even know what Stefano’s lawyer might throw at Marlena in a cross-examination. In fact, it doesn’t even bear thinking about. His blue eyes widen as he looks at his sister as though the thought has just occurred to him.
“Kay, she *can’t* testify. She’s still carrying way too much guilt. She gets up there on the stand and starts taking responsibility for the things Stefano made Grace do and God know what will happen.” He exhales heavily. “But if she doesn’t testify….”
“Roman, Stefano is going down.” Bo’s voice slips into the room and he follows it. “Whether or not Marlena testifies or even if you testify… that room in Maison Noir all those files. They were enough to sink him for life, even without you personally overseeing his trial. You don’t even need to be there if you don’t want to be.”
“I’ll be there.” Roman says, his voice low and hard. "Even if it’s just to make the old man is there standing in the dock.” He stops suddenly then and it’s as though a bolt of lightening hits him. His expression transmutes from anger to shock, with a momentary frission of fear and then he’s back to anger again. But this time the anger is laced with anxiety and Kayla is suddenly aware her brother is walking a tightrope of emotions once again. “Christ, if I could, I’d watch the old man every second between now and the final breath the old bastard takes. Just to make sure it’s him and not some escape stunt he’s pulled once again.”
“You really think he might have something planned?” Bo asks, slipping into the booth across from his siblings.
“Since when has Stefano not had anything planned?” Roman demands humourlessly. “The old man is a past master at escaping justice. I don’t expect this time to be any different.”
“He’s in maximum security, man.” Bo reminds him. “He’s in isolation with no visitors aside from his lawyer, who is searched every time he goes in. There are two guards on him around the clock. He’s not going anywhere, bro.”
“Yeah, heard that before,” Roman curls his hand into a fist and then flexes it out again. “When did Stefano last stand trial? For anything?”
He can’t believe that it’s hardly occurred to him until now. He’s been so worried about Marlena’s state of mind; he’s barely stopped to think about Stefano’s upcoming trial and more importantly, his legendary ability to evade justice. “If I know the old man, he’s got a plan. Either to escape or to walk free.”
“And how’s he going to do that?” Bo demands. “We’ve got him under lock and key, Roman. And we have enough evidence to send him down for the rest of his days.”
“Doesn’t mean it’ll happen.” Roman rubs his hand over his brow, as though to try and erase the deep furrows there. He can’t believe he’s been so stupid as to not even consider that Stefano might have a plan to walk free once again. Or maybe he has considered it but he has simply buried it because it is too horrific to consider. After all, the old man had as good as told Marlena in that prison cell in New Orleans that he would soon be free. And he will come for her when he is.
Roman feels a chill, deep in his soul.
“Maybe that’s why Marlena’s struggling with these nightmares?” Kayla seems to read his mind. “Because she’s afraid that Stefano is going to escape?”
“Of course it is,” Roman groans, his head pounding. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Well you can reassure her it’s not going to happen,” Bo tells him seriously. “Listen Roman, if it makes her feel better… if it makes you feel better man, I’ll go down there and take as many watches as I can myself. Hell, between us, Abe, Hope and I can cover a watch between us. We’ll make sure DiMera doesn’t go anywhere but into that courtroom.”
“Thanks Bo,” Roman smiles gratefully. “But even if we get him to the courthouse, I have no doubt he’ll have another ace up his sleeve. As much as I said I’d like to earlier, we can’t watch him for every hour of every day of the rest of his miserable life.”
“What if he does?” Kayla asks the question that has been filtering through Roman’s mind since he first thought of this possibility several minutes ago. “God forbid, what if Stefano was to escape. Or even worse, he’s not convicted?” The expression on her face convinces Roman that unlike his younger brother, she has been persuaded her that this is a very real possibility. And it’s one that scares her. “What happens then?”
It only takes Roman a moment before he can summon his answer.
“Simple.” He grinds out the words through bloodless lips. “If he comes near Marlena or our children, or any of the family again…. I’ll kill him.” Both of his hands curl into fists now and his calmness is frightening. “It’s the only way he’ll ever stop, if he’s dead. And I swear to God, I’ll do it. I’ll kill the old bastard before I let him hurt Marlena or anyone I love ever again….”