novembre 25, 2004


Also, it occurred to me today when I was walking past a sign offering free mumps injections in Temple Hall that what I had the other week, the two weeks of sore glands might not have been so much of the strep throat.

We've had an outbreak of mumps on campus of late and I had badly swollen glands for two weeks....


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Whereby I muse on the state of my suckiness

Work is pretty busy at the moment. And when I am not working, the writing is still flowing, although not as freely as it was. This is probably as much because my hands were starting to suffer somewhat, (oos is not my friend!) so I figured it was probably best to give them a break.

In the meantime I have been reacquainting myself with the girl and with my general life happenings. I have also done a couple of things that I have been putting off for a while, like writing my 92 year old grandfather who has just been moved into a nursing home. He broke his hip a couple of months back and is not doing so well. It's really hard of me to think of him like that, he has always been so bright and agile. He's always also been the best grandfather a girl could ever wish for. And God, I'm half a world away and I simply know in the bottom of my heart I'll most likely never see him again and it rips me apart when I think of him. So I go into avoidance mode, which is so selfish, because I know he lives for the letters he gets, and especially from me, because I have always been his favourite. So I feel double awful for being so selfish and for missing him so much.

ANd it's his birthday today and I've sent a letter and a card but they'll get there late. So basically I suck.

But happy birthday Grandad, I love you so much.

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novembre 23, 2004


Zokutou word meter
50,016 / 50,000

Expect actual coherence in the next couple of days.

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novembre 19, 2004

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

So, yesterday afternoon, when I went for lunch, I looked up at the sky and thought man, that looks like a snow sky

Then I decided that was utterly ridiculous since it's been incredibly mild for the whole of November so far. While it was bitterly cold yesterday, I didn't think it was nearly cold enough for snow.

So, come five pm, I duly trudged off in the steady drizzle to the car park which is about ten minutes from work. I tucked myself in the drivers seat, turned on the heating and looked at the temperature gauge which read something in the order of 4.0 degrees C.

By the time I got out of York, the rain was hitting the windscreen in those big mushy splashes that you know mean it's sleeting, or at least there's sleet in the sky above you that's melting right before it hits you.

By the time I got to Leeds? It was motherfucking bucketing the snow down. In the middle of November. Of course, there was no way it was going to settle but if this is an indication of things to come? Could be an interesting winter.

It was icy this morning - not as bad as I expected, but all the puddles were frozen over and the gritters had been out and about.

I wonder what the chances of a white Christmas are?

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novembre 18, 2004


Those unexpected moments of perfection that just creep up on you... those moments are what makes life worth living.

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civil, indeed

This is quite possibly the best news I've seen in a political long while. I knew it was coming, but ... YES!!

What it means for us, should we choose to enter into a civil partnership.

It will also mean that for those in dual-nationality partnerships, their relationship will be legally recognized for the purposes of immigration. I'll expect an influx of Americans in a year or so, then. ;)

While it's not quite marriage, it's the next best thing and it will do for now.

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novembre 17, 2004

the antidote

Had the most beautiful night last night.

I'd intended to spend the evening writing but Jackie and I had spent most of the afternoon flirting online so instead it turned out to be a night to remember. A night of candles and beautiful music and the two of us entwined on the sofa.

There is nothing quite so beautiful as naked skin in the soft, flickering glow of candlelight. And we sat there, her chin on my knee, gazing at each other and I thought how beautiful she looked and how she touches me, makes my heart jump, my body sing. She caresses my soul with the way that she loves me and touches me and holds me. She's so gentle and yet she's so unaware of how strong she is. She makes me want to sing and cry and just drown in her soft, fragrant warmth.

It seems like this time apart is good for us, this time for me to create, for her to breathe. It seems like it makes us more appreciative of each other, more aware of how much we love, of what beauty we have together. It makes our nights a wonderful antidote to the daily trials of life.

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novembre 16, 2004

babbling is good. really.

I am feeling much better, well at least throatwise. I am still exhausted like a bloody exhausted thing.

Life seems to be nothing but working, writing, eating and sleeping at the moment. Maybe with a little kissing and other, naughtier stuff thrown in. My housework? Needs doing desperately. But me? I'd rather be writing. Maybe if I was ever to become a novelist I will have a cleaner to come in and clean around me one day a week.

My mother is inordinately proud of the fact that I am finally writing something that might be hypothetically saleable. However, the idea of actually sending her some of the novel fills me with a terror I can't even articulate. I said I would though, so I guess I'll just have to suck it up and face that particular fear.

I'm feeling really good in and of myself lately. I'm procrastinating less. (I'm surfing less!). I'm accomplishing more. Not just the writing, but other stuff too. Sorting out the money situation. Getting into a good head space. Making new friends.

Oh man, something is bound to go wrong soon!

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novembre 12, 2004

strep sucks

Yes, I am still alive.

No, I'm not very well. Or at least I haven't been. I'm on antibiotics and on the mend now though.

I have been doing lots of writing, however, whenever I can find the energy to think about it.

It's going really well. I'm halfway to the world goal. Maybe about a sixth to eigth of the way through the book.

But tonight I feel very uninspired. My girl went out with the girls. I couldn't go because of the sick. And I miss her. That's the only problem with this lots of writing thing. Less time with the loved one. I'll be glad to make the 50K and get back to some kind of balance.

But right now, I have the candles all lit and Eric Clapton playing quietly on the stereo. Lara Fabian and Alison Moyet are cued up to follow. So excuse me while I go and pursue another couple of thousand words...

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novembre 08, 2004

novel times

Yeah! I finally have the first couple of chapters of the still un-named novel-in-progress up on the new nano blog.

The catch is that it's passworded. In order to protect my first publishing rights I need to really keep it off the internet for the most part.

I do, however, crave feedback so if you want to read it, email me at femme AT (you know how to put that together, right?) and I'll give you the password. If I don't know you, introduce yourself. I might be be persuaded to part with an extra password or two.


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novembre 04, 2004

times they are a-sucking

I had a crap day. I was awake a good portion of the night with the stomach cramps from hell. I think my body was reacting to all the stress. Anyway, it was kinda nasty. And painful. Kinda somewhat like Freddy Krueger trying to rip out your insides. Actually, much like another feeling I could mention lately.

And so I took the day off work because I was wiped. Because that happens after pain and drugs.

Yeah, so much fun to be me lately. Plus my glands are up, so I think I'm coming down with a cold.

Anyway, needless to say, I'm off to bed now with my trusty hot water bottle and a handful of high quality painkillers.

But the time off work was good for the getting up magazines on ebay thing. Plus, of course, the writing. I squeezed out 2500 words today which takes me to a grand total of...

drum roll please...

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
8,684 / 50,000

Of course, about 1000 of that is pure porn. Het porn but it is teh porn nonetheless. Hey, it made me happy... Screw the moral majority, I shall write me some hot monkey sexing. Well, not hot monkeys having sex. Because that would be kind of a lot disturbing.

But as it is, I feel better. So I think that is the answer. Lots of sex. Kinky sex even. Writing it or reading it, or even better, *doing* it.

I think I need my bed...

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novembre 03, 2004

Ooooooh God

fucking hell

I really don't know what else to say.

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novembre 02, 2004

quick update

Despite my best of intentions, I obviously didn't do the update thing terribly much over the past week. First there was all the writing, then there was a computer disaster whereby I lost a lot of files and spent muchos time trying to salvage what I could. Then there was social activity, imbibement of alcoholic substances. Then there was recovering from the said imbibement.

Unfortunately, with the aforesaid disaster, I didn't get the WIP finished, but it's really, really close. And will most likely have to wait until December, when I *will* finish it.

But now there's work and there's more writing.

I was going to set up a blog for the Nano novel, but I haven't managed to get around to it yet. I still may, but it will be passworded for protection of first-publishing rights. (In case this thing ends up being saleable in any way, shape or form.) Also to protect me from embarrassment in case it is a complete disaster.

I'm currently about 1800 words in. And I'll be getting going on the keyboard tonight as soon as I get home. Well, I'll be writing in between watching coverage of the elections, I should imagine.


(Go Kerry!)

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